Putting my heart on my sleeve.
Those you who know me know that I am a fairly happy person. I like to be happy and to make others feel the same. We often feel like we must must always be happy.
Anger, frustration sadness and loneliness are seen as weaknesses, but guess what? They make you human.
For so long, I have seen sadness as something I need to rid myself of.
"Move on", "Get over it", "You're fine now, right?"
I've heard all of these things but I know myself and I need time to hurt.
Letting yourself be sad frees you from deadlines and meeting the expectations of others.
Let yourself feel.
Let your heart ache.
Take the time you need.
I am not saying to let yourself mope in self-pity for the rest of your life.
I am saying that you need to let yourself heal on your own time and on your own terms. Everyone is different. It is okay to feel.
I have decided to meet with a counselor to receive support and advice from an outside source. He told me that the greatest people he knows have a wide range of emotions.
They feel.
In the scriptures, we find these examples.
Christ cast out those gambling in the temple with anger (Matthew 21:12-13), Nephi cries of his weaknesses and short comings in Nephi's Psalm (2 Nephi 4), Moroni writes Pahoran a letter in frustration (Alma 59-60) and Joseph Smith cried out, "O God, where art thou?" (D&C 121).
I aspire to be like them. They have a wide range of emotions. Happiness is not the only thing they feel. Like them, we too must recognize the need for opposition. The purpose of this life is to have joy, yes, but joy is not having everything we want.
Joy is overcoming the darkness of life through the light of Christ.
We need sadness to know joy. Deep joy only comes through knowing deep sadness. In my life, I have felt both of these emotions. Both are beautiful in their own way because they allow us to become more like our Master, Jesus Christ. They allow us to get a glimpse of into what His Atonement represents for you and me.
So don't be ashamed of hurting, of sadness, of feeling.
The greatest person to walk this Earth, Jesus Christ, wept. He felt alone. He carried our griefs and our sorrows.
But the most miraculous thing is to know that He has already overcome all of those things and with Him, we can too.
With His stripes, we can be healed.
Thank you for sharing this Kira! I have gone through some hard times (like everyone else) that have left me hurting, angry, bitter, and in despair. Then had lessons in church about enduring to the end and enduring our trials well like Job did. Then came the guilt and shame of not being able to endure cheerfully and perfectly like Job did. Until a friend suggested I read the book of Job. Imagine my surprise when I read and found that he went through the full gamut of emotions just like I was going through. He cried, he was devastated, he was angry, he was bitter, he tried to reason with God. He was human. I had even said many of the same things he did. A huge burden was lifted from me when I realized that it's okay to feel all these emotions and it enabled me to finally work through them in a healthy way. Job taught me that to feel is human and the importance of trusting in God to get you through the hard times.
ReplyDeleteYou are incredible!!! Very inspired, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat insight...this is a lesson we have watched first hand with Michelle. Every one needs to feel before they can begin the journey of healing. Sometimes that journey of healing seems never ending so hang in there it's been 12 years for Michelle.
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